Mother

Mother: A woman who has given birth to a child (also used as a term of address to your mother).

My, it’s been a while since I have blogged; two weeks almost. During that time I’ve actually began to write a few, but ended up giving up half way through because I lost my ‘edge’?

Today is Mother’s Day. The whole of Australia recognises today as the day to celebrate our mothers, grandmothers, aunties even.
As usual, I didn’t even get to see mine.
Honestly, it doesn’t matter to me if I didn’t make my mum breakfast in bed, or buy her a material gift to prove my love for her.
I do love her, despite everything that has happened between us in my life. I just hope that she does know that I love her, even during the times I have caused her pain, and vice versa.

Deep down, it is there. I’ve never had a close bond with her. I actually have not seen her since January the 18th when I visited her at her work for five minutes with a couple of friends; the first friends of mine to meet my mother.

Yes, I do feel guilty that I have not been able to see her for four months, and I plan to see her within the next month if things go according to plan.
I love you mum.

This weekend has been average of sorts, but then again, it has been the best weekend I’ve had in about two weeks.
Friday night I watched movies with two of my close friends.
Saturday I went shopping and picked up new school shoes, a pair of winter pyjamas, nail polish and makeup.
Saturday afternoon was spent helping my beautiful friend clean her house, and then plan for an epic night; which sadly failed.

And Sunday; today. I did not leave the house and instead actually did study notes for Business Studies and Biology. My aim is to have all of my study notes (except for Maths) finished and ready before the holidays so that I can go out during that time and not feel guilty for not studying for the Trail HSC, which is looming ahead.

It just amazes me how quickly time is passing. Just yesterday I remember rocking up back at school on the 29th of January with Rachael and our dodgy parking in front of the entire two senior years. Now, we’re slowly preparing ourselves for the big practice HSC exams. Our one practice to have a slight taste test of the real deal.

I’m scared.

I can admit that. I am so worried about how everything is going to pan out in the next six months.
I suppose I should just let it take its course? But wear a helmet just in case? Perhaps even shin pads?

Unpredictable. Life is unpredictable.

You could have the same routine, week in week out, like the school timetable, but that does not mean that life is predictable. You can’t see around corners. You can’t see what’s over the hill. You can’t see what life has in store for you next.

I’m just glad that I have an amazing group of friends that can take my mind off of the academic side of life, and focus more on creating memories that will stay with me for the rest of my life, even after I die.

This blog has been jumping about. And the light of the computer is soporific.

Goodnight.
Happy Mother’s Day.