I wish

I wish I could sit here and write something deep and meaningful, but my mind is blank. I generally keep to myself, hide my pain and suffering and protect myself from quite a few things in life.

I am not wild. Sometimes I wish I were more outgoing and adventurous, always taking chances and being spontaneous.
I am not any of that really.
Not unless I am being pressures into it somehow.

This is me though. I am quiet and shy until I know you.
This is why some people don't bother to talk to shy people; they see (or hear) at first, the outgoing, loud personalities.

It's taken me a few years to ge lt where I am now. The past few months I've been told how much more louder I am ( in a good way).
That makes me happy.

I used to be different.
And again in a few years I shall remember myself now thinking the same thing that I'm thinking of now.

I still get extremely nervous when doing anything from class discussions, reading at assembllies to reading out speeches in class.

I feel judged standing in front of everyone who probably don't all accept me, who do not all know me for me and those who may not have seen my more outgoing nature that I save for my close friends.

Sometimes I try to change.
Sometimes I try not to change.

This year is about change.
I wish for it to be an amazing year.

This year changes quite a number of things.

Where you going in life
Becoming a legal adult
Completing final year of high school
The HSC
Perhaps it may even change your residence, friendships, and views.

I do not know.
But I do know that at the end of this year, change will be big.

I hope by then I am more comfortable with myself and more confident.

This is probably as deep as I can get :)

I wish that to be my late 'from february' new years resolution.